Lizard King

I Can’t Think of a Title

            I presume I will receive a fitting grade because I put genuine effort into composing essays incapable of leading one directly into a R.E.M. cycle.  Reading my peer’s essays often left me pondering Super Grover and why David Hasselhoff drifted into alcoholism.  I was bored—not that my essays should be printed internationally—but, most who made it past the first paragraph laughed.  And, this is really true, with the exception of the lone pothead in my group—I don’t think he actually read them, but he usually verbalized something in favor of minor changes.

It was usually this simple:  “Dude, maybe you should like…I don’t know, like…maybe use another word here or draw a lizard in the margin.”  Thank you, descendent of Jim Morrison, I will surely consider that input.

I am not a reader and I am generally under the impression that most of my classmates are only actively reading required texts.  So, I try to write essays that appeal to my wit and make me laugh, in hopes they too will laugh.  Even if the reader thinks my perspective is idiotic, I feel successful if they find humor in a portion of it.  I suppose I sometimes alienate potential readers, but I seriously am not targeting an older audience—so, I’m going to use phrases like “desperate, old cougar” often.  I apologize, Jeff.  I just love the word cougar entirely too much.

I think I’m slightly more refined than I was in the beginning of semester—I still ramble, I have always rambled.  It’s like a disease; I cannot escape writing in a way that is like a stream of conversation.  I curse.  I curse a lot.  I still always hesitate before injecting expletives into my academic writing.  But, I felt safe in doing that in this classroom.  I know I should accept that it just downright offends some, but I stand by my opinion that if inserted properly, a word like “shithead” can enhance any writing.  Some people have told me that it sounds unintelligible, or conveys something along those lines.  I certainly don’t feel unintelligible, so I’m not really concerned with being perceived in such a way.

I just aim to be engaging.  In complete honesty, my translation essay sucked.  I just didn’t know how to make it work and it surely was not engaging.  I just don’t like acknowledging Ebonics in the first place so I was obviously doomed.  Needless to say, I hope I never do another translation again.  In contrast, I love doing personal essays and I received great feedback from everyone.  I’m writing about personal experiences, things I like or don’t like, and exploring my own beliefs—concepts like these, I can make interesting.  Still, I recognize the realization that I cannot always write about what I want, so I’m learning how to alleviate that problem.

Regarding revisions for my writing portfolio, I am in complete agreement with Stephen King that these kinds of things need to be put away for a year and then re-examined.  I hadn’t looked at my initial essay since it was handed back to me.  I saw perfect spots for comments and elaborations that I had not seen months ago.  I was told to remove my “toolbox” section.  This aggravated me at first, because it was something I really wanted to leave in the final paper.  I think that some of the readers didn’t think it necessarily fit with the first section (and I’m not sure exactly how much it does), but there was something that just made me keep it.  Jeff told me it was preachy (I’m not disagreeing).  So, I even sub-titled the section (Or, just me being Preachy) in a way that would let the reader know I’m making fun of myself.  I guess I won’t change anyone’s mind, but I just wanted the stupid piece in there, so there it remains.  I have to say that I just don’t think multi-genre writing is for me either.  It’s so damn jumpy and not fluid.  I found it really challenging to write from multiple perspectives and I probably could have done a better job, but I know it wasn’t me, so that’s why you’re not going to see that piece in this portfolio.

I’m sure everyone who caught a glimpse of my writing noticed the fact that I like writing in opposition.  Maybe that makes me less versatile, but it’s just what I like.  I could try to attempt to work on versatility next semester, but that’s really a huge lie and I likely will not.  I’m not sure I corrected every flaw or perfected each paper to the extreme, but I am submitting them in what I think are pretty damn good states for each one.  I’m comfortable with them and I think that’s somewhat valid.  Thank you, Jeff.


Kristen Peraset


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